Atousa, 37, fled to a dark alley, but was caught by the police. When they raised the assault weapon, a flood of fear of death and pride flowed through her head, she told VG.
Young people in Iran are now putting their lives on the line in the fight against the conservative mullahs’ regime, which has ruled the country with an iron fist for 43 years.
More than 250 protesters have already been killed, but despite the danger to their lives, people across the country continue to take to the streets to oppose the regime. Last Saturday, a Kurdish student, Nasreen Ghadry, was killed after being hit in the head by the police.
The anger of the protesters grows with each passing day.
Although the regime does everything in its power to prevent stories, photos and videos from reaching the outside world, shut down the Internet and threaten journalists, they have not succeeded:
In an interview with VG, a victim of police violence talks about the fear she lives 24 hours a day.
Atossa is not the woman’s real name, but a nickname she chose herself. VG knows who she is, but she is hiding her identity for her own safety.
stuck in a dead end
Atoussa was present at the moment the massive popular uprising erupted in Iran in September.
She stood outside the hospital where 22-year-old Mehsa Amini died, after she was arrested by Iran’s morality police for not wearing the hijab “correctly”.
Then the anger felt by the crowd quickly spread.
A few weeks later, Atoussa found herself in the midst of a large crowd, when regime security forces arrived on motorbikes armed with assault weapons in their hands, she said.
Although a number of witnesses and survivors in Iran recently described similar treatment by the security police, it was not possible for VG to independently verify what happened. Accordingly, the following is based on Atossa’s descriptions:
Security forces began beating protesters and Atoussa fled, but ended up in a stalemate.
She desperately started knocking on every door she could find, but the passengers inside didn’t dare to open it.
The militants found it.
At that moment, I don’t think so much about death, but think more about what I could lose. I’ve already seen a lot of my 37-year-old life racing into my head, she says via voice messages sent to VG.
Atousa describes some of what she thought in the short seconds before the security forces arrived:
“I wish I could kiss my mom and dad one last time and tell them how much I loved them.”
“Now I am being raped. Now I will be killed. I am very afraid of rape”
“If I die now, I will die for freedom.”
– I tried to hide the fear now and then. I wanted to see those who were after me on the islands. When a man approached, he raised his arm to strike me with a baton.
According to Atousa, the man suddenly stopped. He did not hit, but asked her to leave the place immediately.
When I got away, fear was sitting in my body. I remember thinking that the values I stand for now still bring me joy. I felt intimidated but also contented and proud.
Hit and bruised – can’t go to hospital
Another day, after that, Atossa wasn’t so lucky.
During a demonstration in Tehran, security forces gathered around her. They started hitting her with a baton.
– I am young, so I did not have the opportunity to respond. It took a long time before they gave up, but finally someone else saved me. I was among the lucky ones, because people came to my rescue.
Atoussa believes that physical violence against protesters is a strategy of intimidation.
The primary purpose of the beating is to show those who see violence that rebellion has consequences. They want to create fear. They can only kill a human to set an example. The regime wants people to see how helpless a protester can be. They can decide whether you will live or not.
After Atosa was rescued from the chaos, she was injured but could not go to the hospital. The security police inside the hospitals were informed of the serious injuries of several protesters.
– I can’t trust anyone, neither the hospitals nor the doctors, she says.
The 37-year-old says the fear for her and the other protesters is around the clock.
When they sit at home, they fear that the door may be kicked in suddenly. When they walk out the door, they know the men of order are looking for them.
“It is really terrifying to know that such violence can happen to you, without any consequences for those outside the violence,” she says.
Atoussa says she and almost all the protesters are frightened. She doesn’t want to call herself “brave”.
She just wants to feel free:
– People love freedom and Iranians love freedom. Nobody likes to be judged, looked down upon, or controlled. All we want is to live freely, as we ourselves want.
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